OH THE PAIN, THE PAIN!

To quote Dr. Smith from Lost in Space: “Oh the pain!” Speaking of space, I wonder if you feel less pain in space. Does gravity affect Fibromyalgia pain? It would nice to be weightless, just floating around in space. I might get awfully bored though. But I digress; let’s get back to Dr. Smith. Poor fellow, he was always saying, “Oh the pain!” We all know from the way he acted, he was just pretending. At least I like to think he was. I wonder how he would handle pain from Fibromyalgia, probably not very well, not very well at all.

I told myself when I started this blog that I would remain positive and upbeat. I have tried to find humor in most situations. There are some days and nights that can just wear on a person though. Take for example the other night. So desperate I was for relief, I took additional muscle relaxers and sleep aids. I do not advocate this type of behavior normally. I usually follow my prescription directions. The muscle relaxers were herbal though and the sleep aid is a minimum dosage. I knew in the back of my head it wouldn’t work anyway. I knew I was experiencing BTP (breakthrough pain) and nothing helps that. After 6 hours of tossing and turning, moaning and groaning, I finally slept for a couple of hours. I was tired, it wasn’t that. I just couldn’t stop hurting. The pain was everywhere. I knew the weather would be changing, it always does. A low pressure system was moving in and my pain tolerance was moving out.

I was fortunate enough to have the day off and met with a friend of mine for breakfast the following morning. My friend and her husband both have Fibromyalgia. We were discussing the lack of sleep from the previous night and she said to me; “You figure it’s the low pressure system?” BINGO! Give that woman a cigar!

Spot on she was, but what I can’t figure out though, is why does it affect Fibromyalgia?  Are the connective tissues that sensitive, or is it the nerves that are that sensitive? I just know that hurts like the dickens. Nothing helps. Heating pads are useless; pain medications have no affect, not even my precious Lyrica. Heck, even laying in bed hurts. Don’t even think about touching me. I don’t know about you, but in a way I feel trapped when this happens. I do not have control over my body and what it is doing. I want to scream and cry out from the pain, pain that lasts for hours even days sometimes, bound by shackles limiting my every movement. If you look at me, I look fine, just a little tired maybe. You would not know I have Fibromyalgia on most days.

Having lunch with my friend did me good as we sat and caught up with each other.  It’s nice to know that you don’t suffer the pain alone. After a few errands, I was able to go home and get some much needed sleep. Pain can be exhausting when it lasts for hours on end. I might like try a zero gravity atmosphere someday, but I don’t think I would survive the launch. I have this feeling that G’s you pull in a blast off would be excruciating.

Ah well, so much for my space career. Maybe I’ll just keep looking out my telescope at the stars and galaxies dreaming of the day I will weightless and pain free. Maybe I should think over that possibility that maybe Dr. Smith was suffering Fibromyalgia or BTP. For now, I’ll try to catch up on my rest and get ready for the next low pressure system that moves in. 

Happy Trails

Surviving the winter while being trapped in a cold with a cough and a fever can be difficult. Sometimes, I swear I want to run and jump into a snowdrift. Ah well….it is winter time after all. How does one survive? I take my cold medicine, cough a little more, wrap up in a warm blanket and drink plenty of liquids to keep me hydrated. Keeping hydrated is hard for me as I tend to forget to drink. (Must be that darn fibro fog again!) No television for me. I prefer to use my mind; I think I will just read.

My love of reading began at an early age and I still like to read. I remember sneaking down the stairs in grade school and climbing onto the small 10” ledge that served as a bookshelf. I would grab the red leather bound books belonging to my parents that were their childhood books while growing up. The books had come from my paternal grandfather. He was a great believer in knowledge. He was the 7^th son of a 7^th son, able to read and write in 5 languages. The eight book series called Book Trails were first published in 1928 and full of big words, wonderful pictures, fairies, adventures, poems and more. Words were often spelled in the Olde English style. By that I mean, potato as we know it now was spelled potatoe in the books. Both renditions are technically correct. Little did I know it was helping to educate me. I would sneak out of bed and grab a book from the series and read it by the light coming from the floor vent. Just enough light to read by when the downstairs lights were on.

I confessed my transgressions of getting out bed and disobeying my parents just a few years ago. I was informed it was too late; they knew all along I was sneaking out of bed and reading. They let me do it only because I was learning mind you, not getting into any trouble or keeping my brothers or sister awake. This is where my love of reading began. Whether I travel with The Fellowship of the Ring through the Mines of Moria while being chased by a balrog of Morgoth, traveling though time in a Time Machine powered by H.G. Wells, cheering for the residents of Redwall as they vanquish another fell beast while fighting to preserve their dwelling and ways of life, accompanying John Carter of Mars in his Barsoom adventures, flying in a wooden airship to Overland with The Ragged Astronauts, or in a galaxy created by George Lucas far, far, away involved in  a Star Wars, falling through the rabbit hole with Alice in Wonderland, or solving a Murder Most Frothy with Claire Cosi leading the way.

While typing this, I have noticed a theme to my readings; adventure, heroic tales, and good conquering evil. I guess it makes me an armchair adventurer. That’s okay though. I can’t do as much as I would like to do or I used to do because of the Fibromyalgia. Every winter the pain increases and I force myself to do things that are sometimes beyond my capability. When I do that, I pay for it in the end with aches and pains. I get through those times and most other times by escaping the world. Reading is my escape from the hum drum world and it keeps my mind occupied while fending off pain. Maybe it’s a coward’s way out of not dealing with things too, I am not sure, but I do know that it helps me to fall asleep by keeping my mind busy and off of the pain.

Tonight, I think I will pull out an old friend: a book that is familiar to me and has been with me my entire life, Book Trails to Enchanted Lands. I feel the need for adventure with this cough and cold. A short story as I have a short attention span tonight. Who knows, maybe it give me a smile and warm happy thoughts to fall asleep to. Happy trails everyone. I’ll be back when the fibro fog clears.

Bring Out The Fur

Caution:
Not for the weight  conscious.

Do you suppose women in Siberia or Alaska wear fur lined bras? It gets really, really, really cold there. Eskimos wear fur all the time. I mean at least I think they do, I would if I lived in the frozen tundra area.

It was about 10 degrees outside the other night when I decided to shower and get ready for bed. What a time for the furnace to go out. Oh, did I mention the hot water heater is connected to the furnace? Bummer. So after checking the thermostats, gas and breakers and not finding anything wrong, I called a repairman. “Sure lady, I’ll be out, but the diagnostic fee alone is $130.00.” I replied: “I don’t care, I have no heat!!! AND BESIDES, IT’S UNDER WARRANTY!”  Well, he traipsed on over an hour later and checked it out. Of course he found 2 possible code problems which means he didn’t carry parts with him, he would back tomorrow if he didn’t have to order the parts. Oh how lovely.

Yes, this is Faux fur. No animals were
harmed in this picture

  

Good thing we had 2 small space heaters in the basement and a fireplace. At least I had them going before the repairman came. Of course the fireplace is no where near the bedrooms and you couldn’t place the space heaters in the bedrooms because you needed to keep the pipes from freezing. So….we concentrated the heat in the bathroom and kitchen areas. After shooing everyone off to bed and tending the fire until 7 a.m., I felt I really needed to sleep.

Piling up layers of blankets helped to keep the warmth in. As always, I have a down pillow and comforter to rely on. Needless to say, this was not the time to sleep naked or half dressed, so I jumped into bed covered from head to toe and pulled the comforter, quilt and blanket up. Sadly, I thought it would be warmer if I were working for Scrooge just then. But I digress….I wouldn’t have to see Scrooge until the following day and I should be warmed up by then.

Trying to get warm enough to fall asleep, I began thinking of Eskimos. I wondered did they wear fur lined underwear. I don’t think I could handle the frozen tundra unless I had some. So I made sure I had my makeshift sock puppets on and burrowed even further under the plethora of blankets. Warm thoughts, warm thoughts, think of warm thoughts I kept telling myself. So I thought of myself living in medieval times and having a bed with plush velvet curtains surrounding the bed to keep out the cold. A bed piled high with soft, warm furs in a room with a ginormous roaring fireplace. Of course, the servants would have just removed the hot bath from my room. It would have been a huge tub with hot stones added to the water hot and rose petals and lavender to scent the water. Hey, if you’re gonna dream, you may as well dream big.

Surprisingly these warm thoughts worked to keep me warm. Every time I awoke I just snuggled down deeper into the warmth of my imaginary fur bedding. I have to say, I absolutely and totally forgot about the heating pad I owned! (Must have been the fibro fog.) Even as cold as it got, I was able to keep my fibromyalgia pain at bay. I felt cold all day the next day until the following morning. The repairman came back with the parts the next afternoon and we were able to have nice toasty rooms by bedtime. So on these cold winter nights that we have ahead of us, I will keep using my imaginary fur bedding to help comfort me and keep me warm.

I just might have to pursue the fur bra idea. You never know when you could be stranded in a meat locker or Siberia. I bet Mrs. Claus has one hidden under her dress and apron. So let’s stay warm out there and think warm furry happy thoughts!

There are several Canadian and American
fur bra liner manufacturers.

P.S. I just checked on line and they do make fur bra liners. I just might have to buy me some!

To cat nap or not to cat nap....

To cat nap or not to cat nap, that is the question. 

Hey, I am all for cat napping, especially on a cold and chilly day. House cats have it way too easy anyway. They can sleep wherever, whenever they want…..without interruption. I am jealous really. They have fur to keep them warm. They get lots of loving and when they hiss, people leave them alone!

Think about it. What other animal can get away with trying to hide behind something too big. They think because they can’t see you, you can’t see them. Ha! You and both know we can see their fuzzy little tails swishing from the thrill of game hide and seek. Peeking their heads around table legs and batting miniscule things floating in the air. They can pretend they don’t hear you or see you. You are there to serve them. And don’t forget the catnip! I haven’t seen a cat that can pass up catnip. It’s like me and chocolate. Only thing is, I don’t play with my chocolate. I devour it. I may as well roll around in it as much as I love it, but play with it? Never.

I think he wanted to devour it, but decided to catnap instead.

All that catnip (chocolate) leads me back to cat naps. I mean, after all that playing and getting high on catnip, chasing a little mouse around; you need to take a little cat nap. It’s the same for me. After doing laundry, the dishes, canning pickles, cooking supper, going shopping, shoveling snow and having a previous night of little to no sleep, I need a cat nap. Just a little nap…..not much. If I take it early enough, it won’t interfere with my sleep. But alas, after dreaming most of the day of just catching a little warmth and a little shut eye I was too late. It’s now time for bed and I am ready for it. Okay, I was ready for bed 2 hours ago, but that would have been way too early to retire for the evening.

  

Tonight, I vow to sleep like a cat. Stretched out with my legs splayed and belly up for all the world to see. I won’t wake up for anyone, no matter how much I purr, stretch, and get my tummy rubbed or tickled. I’m just going to lay there and enjoy it like a cat! I will glory in the thing known as sleep. I will set my Sleep Number bed for something a little softer tonight. I won’t hiss tonight unless I get woken up. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get a tummy rub and some catnip. (I mean chocolate. LoL)

New Year New Pains?

New pains for a New Year, what did you get for the New Year? Okay maybe they aren’t exactly new pains, just recurrent ones that I forget about when I don’t hurt. It has been a heck of a weekend. I have spent more time of the New Year in bed than out of it. Alas…the weather has changed and I am feeling much better.

I made no plans to celebrate the New Year other than to be alone with Cary Grant. (Heavy sigh) I have to admit, I have had a crush on him since I was a little girl, but I digress. I just wanted to stay home. I didn’t want to go anywhere; I just wanted to stay home. I was glad I did as the pain started that night with the weather change. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad curled up in a down blanket, sipping hot cocoa and watching Cary Grant in The Philadelphia Story. Okay, so I like James Stewart too, and to have both of them in the same movie, commercial free? SCORE! (LoL)

And although I spent New Years Eve alone, I was smiling and in a happy mood. Who needed champagne; I had my own form of entertainment. What can I say? I am easily amused.

Laughter is the best medicine. I make sure I have plenty of laughter in my life. It helps reduce the stress. Let’s face it….who needs stress; I have enough of my own. If I didn’t make a point to find humor in things or make myself smile or laugh, no one would want to be around me. When I am in a lot of pain, I become quiet. People will ask me if I am in a bad mood. No, I’m not in a bad mood, I am just concentrating on how to relieve the pain or how to get through the task or chore I am doing at the moment. I think people are so used to seeing me smile, they think I am upset if I’m not smiling. Trust me; if I was upset….you would know it, no questions asked. Ever hear the saying: Hell hath no fury like a redhead? That’s all I’m saying at the moment.

I am sure we all act differently in the face of pain. I think it is important one strives to maintain a sense of humor about it. Why be angry about it? Where will the anger get us? It certainly won’t help to ease the pain. Maybe talking about it helps, maybe laughter helps, or maybe medication helps. We are all different. As for me, I will take my nice warm, cozy down comforter, a cup of hot cocoa and a Cary Grant movie anytime I am feeling pain. Alright, I would watch a Cary Grant movie even if I weren’t in pain. I am a sucker for a charismatic, charming kind of guy.

  

New Year and new pains? No problem! I think I have this year figured out. I will work on distressing and trying to forget the pain by trying to fool my mind with humor and to keep it occupied. Might be simplistic on my part, but hey….if it works, it can’t be all that bad. So here’s to a Happy and Healthier New Year for all of us, Fibromyalgia sufferers or not, we all deserve a better New Year!

HaPpY NeW yEaR!

How many New Year’s resolutions do I have to make before I actually succeed at one? I have no idea, but your guess is as good as mine. I plan on staying home and going to bed early for once. I have no idea why I always stay up and watch the ball drop. Nothing changed, all I did was sit and watch the ball drop, maybe kiss a loved one Happy New Year. Honestly, I can do that anytime. I can even record it and watch it over and over again if I wanted to, but where would it get me? Maybe I’m a little jaded or just a little tired. This week….I’m a lot tired, but there are still resolutions to be made.

 

The nice thing about a new year is that you can do things differently in the coming year. Most of us make resolutions that are beyond our capabilities. We just set our sights too high instead of realistic goals. We make lists upon lists until we get the list we want. Making a list shouldn’t be hard; it shouldn’t always have to be bigger and better than the last.

I could make a list and tell you I would do things I have no intention of doing, but I won’t. I would rather not even make a list if truth be known. What will you resolve to do this coming year?

As for me, I will:

2: I will not let Fibromyalgia ruin my day

3: I will appreciate my family and friends more

4: I will be more patient with those that do not   understand the pain I experience

5: I will learn to pace myself better

6: I will try to practice what I preach

7: I may not resolve to be stress free, but I will try to lower my stress levels

8: I will not resolve to lose a certain amount of pounds; I will resolve to eat healthier

I could make a list like this.....

See, no unrealistic goals, nothing too difficult. At least I acknowledge that I can improve. We can always improve ourselves or our lives. I realized this and became more appreciative of what I do have when several years ago I was diagnosed with a pre-cancerous condition. That diagnosis made me come to the realization that I had to make some changes in my life. I don’t think I was scared enough to make life altering changes for more than a few years. Many things have happened in life since that day. I thought about those things today. Maybe if I thought about them more often, I would be more motivated. There are a lot of things I might do differently in the coming future; there is one thing I know I will do starting tomorrow. I won’t wait until the New Year to start. I will spend more time with my father. You see, he just turned 78 on Christmas Eve and although he lives with me, it becomes more evident each year that he may not be around much longer. I need to spend more quality time with him. As long as he’s around, he will be on the top of my list each year.

Happy New Year dad, I love you!

Scrooged Again!

Since having my computer back, I have spent the last few hours online looking at Fibromyalgia articles on treatment of pain. Most sites offer a plethora of advice as many are want to do. Sure, we all want a cure all, who wouldn’t with this kind of pain?! What annoys me is that most of the sites think they are the only cure. Some sites do acknowledge that Fibromyalgia pain affects people differently. I am afraid some people lose site of that fact. The key words being: fibromyalgia pain affects people differently. I may be on a pedestal here and I don’t mean to be ranting, but come on, just because we may suffer from Fibro fog doesn’t mean we believe everything we read. We know there are snake oil salesmen out there.

Not all medications work for the same for everyone. Not everyone has the same reaction. My personal opinion is that if you find something that works for you, then by all means stick with it, but leave your mind open to new ideas and options. As long as Lyrica works for me, I know I will espouse the virtues of it. I also realize that as time goes along, I may have to increase the dosage or frequency of usage. I also realize that I will have periods of Break Through Pain, where nothing will help. To expect to be completely pain free would not be realistic on my part. What is realistic on my part is to do what I can to keep warm, lower my stress levels, get some exercise, eat better and not over do my daily activities. Here again, this works for me, you may have a regimen that helps you.

Of course, if you work for a modern day Scrooge that keeps the office thermostat set at 55 degrees, you will never get warm. You can however; dress like poor Bob Cratchit, donned in several layers of clothing, a scarf, hat and fingerless gloves, enabling you to work with your hands. As I faced the cold weather and bone chilling winds while getting a start on my workday, I was glad I had dressed in 3 shirts, a sweater, scarf and coat for work. The wind chill alone was placing outside temperatures in single digits. After stepping into the office and removing my coat and scarf I immediately put them back on. Ebenezer Scrooge had not allowed any coal for today I saw. Quietly traipsing over to the wall thermostat in the back workroom, I nudged the thermostat from 55 to 60 degrees. Alas….I was still not getting any warmer an hour and a half later. What evil was working its magic to hinder this flow of warmer air? I looked upwards and my eyes caught sight of a most hideous thing: the vents in my office had been closed by Scrooge! Bah-humbug! Foiled again.

 

Being only 5 foot 3 inches, there is no way I can reach the 8 foot high vents. Good thing I had long strip of aluminum with which to reach the levers. Being a Cratchit, I am resourceful! I soon had the vents open and aimed in my direction. My ears would have to remain uncovered as I would need to keep an ear out for Scrooge leaving her office. If I moved quickly enough, my disobedience would not be discovered. Somehow the layered clothing, fingerless gloves, and one small piece of coal were not enough to keep me warm today. Hot coffee might do the trick. Maybe I could wrap my hands around the mug. Oh wait….Ebenezer took my mug and sold it for a mere pittance, that won’t work. Maybe if I worked hard enough, I could get warm.

As my fingers pecked away at the frozen keyboard, I realized I couldn’t feel them. Maybe that was a good thing. If I ended up working my fingers to the bone, I wouldn’t feel it. LoL So engrossed I was in typing, I missed Ebenezer leaving her office and did not get the vents turned back off. Maybe Scrooge would be generous today; after all….Christmas had only been 3 days ago. The cold started me day dreaming I would be the recipient of a pair of USB hand warmers to use at work. With Tiny Tim optimism I keep looking for a warmer future. Winter did just start 7 days ago, but at least it was pretty and snowy outside.

Tiny Tim taught me to dress warmly and to accept the things I cannot change. I can change my clothing to keep me warmer on these cold winter days. I will experience pain, but I will trudge on as best I can with the help of my family and friends. By accepting these things, I will lower my stress levels in dealing with Fibromyalgia. There will be days I need to add extra coal to the fires to keep me warmer. But I will always look for new and better ways to get through the days without making my brain dull and fuzzy. I will continue my library and internet searches for help in dealing with Fibromyalgia and in the meantime, I’ll use my Tiny Tim optimism to keep working on Ebenezer Scrooge and getting some more coal for the fire.