In response to your comment posted on Breakthrough Pain; I feel your pain as do many other sufferers of Fibromyalgia. The pain experienced is hard for some to understand because you do look "normal". I haven’t been on for a few days because I was having extreme pain from the weather changing and some work related stress, which just didn’t help matters.
As you mentioned, depression often accompanies FMS and is even a side effect of some medications taken for FMS. It does at times seem like a no win situation, but I have vowed, it won’t get me down. I may have to change my goals for retirement and vacation spots. No more summersaults, trampoline jumping or gymnastics in the near future. But like you, I would settle for getting some work done around the house, to not hurt as I lift my arms to fold the clothes or hang them up. I feel like a slug as I trudge along trying to get things done. Things get dusty or pile up and I know you like a clean house as I do. I too, like to have things organized. I keep opening one particular kitchen cupboard and every time I do, I cringe as I want to shut it because I know I will have to get on my hands and knees to find what I am looking for. So while I am down there, why don’t I just organize it? Because like you, it seems to always be a fibro day lately. Oh, how I wish I had a Merry Maid to clean and organize my house. Okay, so maybe I should set a goal for myself.
Twice a year I usually do a “spring cleaning”. I failed to complete the second cleaning before fall came along as I too busy with our summer of tornados and a recent straight line wind that just tore apart my newly restored shed. So here’s my fall and winter goal: take one day a week to clean one room in my house. As most people I have more than 7 rooms, but if I spread this out over a two week period, I can do this. I am not talking get down and dirty, but clean the surface dirt, dust a little and pick up. Of course I will do the bathroom and dishes most everyday, but that goes without saying. Good thing I own a dishwasher, oh wait….I just received a recall letter on mine. Scrap that idea. So I will enlist some help doing the dishes during the colder months. I will try to take one day a month to do some deep cleaning, maybe organize something. It may end up being just one cupboard, but often it will lead to several cupboards. My house should stay clean enough for the winter, but I will be ready and waiting for the spring clean, that’s for sure. I know I seem awfully optimistic right now, but I have to try. No one will do it if I don’t. I may not get the help around the house that I would like to get, but I can ask for it. Ultimately it is up to me.
I have found I must remind some people that I cannot do certain things, to not take the rail road tracks so hard, or to please let me sleep in on the weekend if I can. It is up to me to remind others how I feel. You can do this without sounding whiney. Do what you can, at times going a little beyond, but if you go past your limits, take the time to get your strength back.
What others do not realize, is how experiencing pain drains your body. It takes your energy, it steals your time. Because it steals your time, you have to make time for yourself. It may seem selfish to some, but you need to do this. You need to rest to let your muscles and your mind regain their strength. How we will get others to understand this, I don’t know. Maybe we can educate them in a kind way. Maybe blogs like this can help educate others. I don’t claim to know everything. I can only share what I have learned from personal experience or information I have seen relating to Fibromyalgia. I do know that positive thinking can free you from some of the trappings of FMS. If it is hard to keep a positive mental image, try keeping a positive object. What I mean to say is, try keeping a single object in each room, like a photograph, a keepsake, a book, and candle, anything that will make you smile when you see it. I do this. No, I don’t have a house full of tchotchkes and trinkets gathering dust. Which is a good thing as that would mean even more dusting for me! Take delight in the little things; take delight in family and friends. Positive thinking has proven to help physical ailments.
I make sure I smile each night as I fall asleep. Kind of a silly thing really, but I do it. I might be grumpy when I wake up, but at least I try to go to bed smiling. I might be a bad mood, tired or hurting, but even when I force myself to smile, I find it makes me happy. Maybe not right away, but there is something about a smile that can change your mood. Ever have a bad day and you meet a kind happy person and they make you smile? Be that person. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Let the tired you see the happy you. Make yourself smile. It might take some work, but we can at least try. So I leave you with these thoughts: we will get through this, people will understand someday, we will like ourselves and we will accept the changes that affect our lives. Oh, and smile….it makes people wonder what you’re up to!
