Feeling Good

What would you do if you had no pain? Okay, maybe not “no pain”, how about little pain? What would you do if you could do what you wanted without the side effect of pain? I randomly took some pictures off the internet to represent what I might do.

After rising this morning and wiping the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes, I realized I didn’t feel too badly today. We gained an hour of sleep with the time change and it felt wonderful! Yesterday we experienced extremely cold weather for this time of year and it was Breakthrough Pain day for me. My insides were dreading what today would bring, but it wasn’t so bad. I took it easy yesterday and made sure I kept warm. I feel better than I have for a few days and I wished I could just go out and do something without having to worry about the side effects. I wanted to do cartwheels, climb a mountain and take photographs, run along the beach, go snorkeling and have fresh clam chowder. Maybe even go on an African safari, cook or bake to my hearts content, clean the house from top to bottom and then sleep like a baby. What would you do? Really, what would you do?

 

I decided that my previous post about pictures being worth a thousand words was not the positive image I wanted to display. It may help others better understand what we feel, but let’s move forward from that. Let’s focus on what we would like to do. Make a mental list of something you would like to do when you feel better. Don’t worry whether you will ever achieve this goal, but focus on how to achieve that goal. Take baby steps.

 Years ago, I dabbled in watercolors. I haven’t picked up a paintbrush since I moved from the Seattle area back to Ohio. I think I lost my inspiration years ago and feel the need to re-gain it. I am a creative person by nature as my parents and siblings are all creative. If I am honest about it; my father excelled in woodworking and winemaking, my mother cake decorating, baking and stained glass, my one brother art and photography, my other brother mechanical things and electronics, my sister cooking, baking and art, I am a jack of all trades and master of none. I have sold some of my art as well as writing. I guess that officially makes me a professional artist and writer.  My work cannot even begin to reach the level of my one brother, he is truly gifted and I feel like a fake. As a child, I envisioned myself working for Walt Disney. I wanted to be an illustrator, but early on realized I was not as good as my brother or others. I would never be a Da Vinci, Rembrandt, Mucha, or Waterhouse. I needed to have my own style.

So my goal is to become more creative again. I cannot work on stained glass restoration as I used to. FMS does not allow me the freedom to do some of the necessary things. I can do some of the work, but no more climbing on scaffolding or lifting heavy sheets of glass. So…why not design stained glass patterns? That could combine drawing and stain glass work. I might be able to achieve 2 goals in 1. As I work on the goal, I might be able to make my other desires possible as well.

Tell me what your goals are. Maybe we can inspire one another or work out ways to make these goals or desires happen. I leave you with one of my last paintings and well wishes for a bright and happy day. I call this painting “Freedom”. I didn’t realize it would come to mean freedom from FMS.