Will I ever learn?

As usual, I never listen to my own advice.  Take for example: the art of pacing oneself. I know I should do it and yet….I tend to over do things. It was a nice day out, the contractors were fixing my garage doors and I was in a cleaning mood. I felt good when I woke up and I actually got up earlier than usual thanks to the time change. Let me tell you, that extra hour of sleep really helped!

So being full of energy, bright eyed and bushy tailed, I decide to not only clean and scrub the bathroom, but to do 7 loads of laundry, sweep and vacuum the floors, put away some summer clothes, got out the winter ones made supper and experimented with making a new variety of cookie. I should have known better, I do know better. Yet, as always I am optimistic about what I can achieve. I did achieve quite a bit. It just took a little longer to get to sleep, a few more hours of pain. Oh well, I guess that makes up for some of the extra sleep I got with the time change.

I did use my brain for good and played with my oatmeal cookie recipe. If you feel adventurous, you may want to try it. I always use the “Vanishing Oatmeal Cookie” recipe on the inside lid of Quaker Oats. This time though, when pulling out the ingredients to use, I saw something I had purchased the week before at the store. I had bought some Cherry Craisens and Pomegranate Craisens. I know I like the flavor of cherry and pomegranate together so why not trade the raisens for Craisens? Oooh, and a bag of sliced almonds. Cherry and almonds go together.  So I followed the recipe except for the cinnamon. I only used ¼ Tsp. of cinnamon. Instead of raisens, I used ½ cup of Cherry Craisens and ½ cup of Pomegranate Craisens. I used almond instead of walnuts. Low and behold, I had some white chocolate chips in the cupboard as well. I thought I should add a little sweetness and so I added 2/3 cup of the white chocolate chips. I baked the cookies at the same temperature and for the same length of time. I liked the taste. They were a hit with everyone. I think if I would have had Almo-van flavoring instead of just vanilla it might had been better. Almo-van is a combination of almond and vanilla flavoring. You can substitute Almo-van with equal parts vanilla and almond flavoring, a flavor I grew up with as my mother was a cake decorator. It just adds a little something to the flavor. So if you feel adventurous, you may want tot give it a try.

At least I as able to able to enjoy a few cookies in my sleepless hours.  Did I learn anything from overdoing it? No, I will most likely not listen to my own advice and will not pace myself. They say pain is a great teacher. All I can say, is I must be pretty stupid. Maybe I should write a few notes to myself, oh yeah, if only I didn’t have fibro-fog and I could remember to do that! (LoL) Oh well….maybe someday I will learn. Just maybe....

Every time a bell rings...

Most everyone is familiar with the line from the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life; “Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings.” There are an awful lot of ringing bells, so there must be even more wingless angels. So what is an angel? I’ve met several in my life, all of them wingless earth angels. The dictionary describes an angel as someone having the qualities which are generally attributed to an angel such as; beauty, pureness, kindness, virtuous thoughts or actions, and somewhat of a guardian.

I am sure you have met an angel in your life, someone that is there for you, someone to lean on, to listen to you, to lift your spirits. Angels come in all shapes, sizes and ages. My angels give me continual support. They probably don’t even know it, but just knowing that I can reach out if I ever need to, well….sometimes that’s all I need to know. Sometimes that’s all we need. We often do things of our own accord, but angels are like invisible braces. They are there, you can’t really see them but they are there in the background, they straighten you out when you need it and offer support. Then there are angels that exude radiance. When they walk into a room, their smile lights up the whole room, a goodness comes out for all to see. You can’t miss them. Really. They just make you happy being around them. My angels are buoyant keeping my mood afloat in seas of trouble or pain. I don’t know where I would be without my angels, but I am thankful for them.

Better yet….are you an angel in someone else’s life? Is there something you can do to uplift a friend, a stranger even? Don’t ask what has someone else done for you lately, rather what can you do for someone else. Can you stop in to see an old friend, make a phone call, send a text or an email? Can you do shopping for someone, make a dish, and invite them over? Just spending time with someone might be all they need. Many people refuse help when you offer it and sometimes we need to take no for an answer. Often times we have difficulty doing things for ourselves. Take what time you can to be an angel. It will lift your spirits making you feel better, not to mention what it will do for the other person. Be genuine in your efforts, no one likes a fraud. Be positive in your thinking and actions and you can’t help but be an angel. Someday you’ll get your wings!

Fibro Soothing Soup

Cold weather lurks behind the coming clouds and months ahead. There are days that I find I don’t have the energy to put on lavish feasts, let alone the time. I used to make a French Onion Soup that required hours and hours and browning a whole bag of small white onions. My eyes would be bloodshot from crying and my nose would run furiously from the onion vapors.  I even tried cutting and cooking them with goggles on. It never failed; the sulfuric acid would seep into the tiny air vent holes. (Doh! Maybe I should have used swimmers goggles.) And what about the smell it left in the house? Yuck…it seemed to last for days.

After visiting a few local restaurants and sampling their French Onion Soups, I thought I could shorten the process dramatically.  They served it on their menu daily and the restraint didn’t reek of charred onions and leave me crying. They had to make it daily, so I set out on a quest and experimented in my kitchen with what I call Kelly’s Easy French Onion Soup. It takes as little as 45 minutes to be enjoying it from start to finish. I make this when I want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside and I know I have plenty for several days. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. As Julia would say: “Bon Appetite”

You will need:

1 large sweet white onion sliced thin

1 TBL minced garlic

1 TBL butter

1 TBL virgin olive oil

Using a large pot on medium heat, brown your onions and garlic in melted butter and olive until the onions start to become transparent. (To speed up the process, you can cover the pot so that the onions are steamed on a medium high heat.) Deglaze the pan with:

1 box chicken broth

1 box beef broth

Then add:

2 beef bullion cubes

1 TBL beef soup base

8 to 24 ounces of water (This depends on how strong you want the flavor)

Salt and pepper to taste

1 TBL parsley

1 TBL oregano

Simmer on low to med-high for 30 minutes. While soup is simmering, cut into ½” cubes an artisan bread such as Asiago Cheese Semolina or Parmesan Peppercorn. Toast the cubes of bread under the broiler so that both sides are browned.

Ladle the soup into a bowl; add croutons and a few shavings of Parmesana Reggiano and top with one slice of Swiss or Provolone cheese. Place under broiler until bubbly and brown. Serve with a sandwich if you like or soup alone. For a sweeter soup, add 2 cups of white wine. Dig in!

Feeling Good

What would you do if you had no pain? Okay, maybe not “no pain”, how about little pain? What would you do if you could do what you wanted without the side effect of pain? I randomly took some pictures off the internet to represent what I might do.

After rising this morning and wiping the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes, I realized I didn’t feel too badly today. We gained an hour of sleep with the time change and it felt wonderful! Yesterday we experienced extremely cold weather for this time of year and it was Breakthrough Pain day for me. My insides were dreading what today would bring, but it wasn’t so bad. I took it easy yesterday and made sure I kept warm. I feel better than I have for a few days and I wished I could just go out and do something without having to worry about the side effects. I wanted to do cartwheels, climb a mountain and take photographs, run along the beach, go snorkeling and have fresh clam chowder. Maybe even go on an African safari, cook or bake to my hearts content, clean the house from top to bottom and then sleep like a baby. What would you do? Really, what would you do?

 

I decided that my previous post about pictures being worth a thousand words was not the positive image I wanted to display. It may help others better understand what we feel, but let’s move forward from that. Let’s focus on what we would like to do. Make a mental list of something you would like to do when you feel better. Don’t worry whether you will ever achieve this goal, but focus on how to achieve that goal. Take baby steps.

 Years ago, I dabbled in watercolors. I haven’t picked up a paintbrush since I moved from the Seattle area back to Ohio. I think I lost my inspiration years ago and feel the need to re-gain it. I am a creative person by nature as my parents and siblings are all creative. If I am honest about it; my father excelled in woodworking and winemaking, my mother cake decorating, baking and stained glass, my one brother art and photography, my other brother mechanical things and electronics, my sister cooking, baking and art, I am a jack of all trades and master of none. I have sold some of my art as well as writing. I guess that officially makes me a professional artist and writer.  My work cannot even begin to reach the level of my one brother, he is truly gifted and I feel like a fake. As a child, I envisioned myself working for Walt Disney. I wanted to be an illustrator, but early on realized I was not as good as my brother or others. I would never be a Da Vinci, Rembrandt, Mucha, or Waterhouse. I needed to have my own style.

So my goal is to become more creative again. I cannot work on stained glass restoration as I used to. FMS does not allow me the freedom to do some of the necessary things. I can do some of the work, but no more climbing on scaffolding or lifting heavy sheets of glass. So…why not design stained glass patterns? That could combine drawing and stain glass work. I might be able to achieve 2 goals in 1. As I work on the goal, I might be able to make my other desires possible as well.

Tell me what your goals are. Maybe we can inspire one another or work out ways to make these goals or desires happen. I leave you with one of my last paintings and well wishes for a bright and happy day. I call this painting “Freedom”. I didn’t realize it would come to mean freedom from FMS.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

How does a person explain Fibromyalgia to someone who doesn't have it? I found different pictures on the internet which I have copied. I did not take these pictures or create them. I am not even sure who they are all from, but I wish to thank whoever did them for expressing such feelings and emotions in them. As an FMS sufferer, I am sure you will relate to them. Please share some of your own as well. Thank You!

On the Road Again

The other day while driving to work I was hoping the heat had been turned on, the coffee pot was going and the day would less stressful. Yeah, keep dreaming Kelly. Keep dreaming. By the way…did I ever tell you I am an optimist? So, the day was more stressful than usual, I never did get that cup of coffee, nor was the heat turned on, I don’t know about you, but I can’t work in a 56 degree office. It was turned on the next day. Woohoo! Hey, I will take what I can get. On my journey to Stressville, I realized there had been frost on my window that morning and I would need to soon find my ice scraper. This means getting up earlier, starting the car and letting the defroster do the majority of the work. The thing about having FMS in your arms and shoulders is that you become acutely aware of your limitations. Mind you, this is just my personal opinion, but when my FMS moved upward from my legs to my shoulders, arms and hands, I felt I had to become more aware, more careful of my actions. I never thought before about how much I used my arms and shoulders in the average day.

Traveling by car on cold days such as this or when experiencing Breakthrough Pain can be a chore, even difficult at times, just turning the steering wheel can be excruciating. I have found using a lap quilt with cotton batting helps. (I use a cotton batting as it tends be warmer than a poly filling.) I place the quilt over my shoulder and arm closest the door. I might look like a dork with the “shoulder quilt” but honestly, I would rather be comfortable than chic. My husband and I are also fortunate enough to have vehicles with separate heat and air controls for driver and passenger. This is a great help when traveling. I can have as much warmth and heat as I want. Let’s face it, I’m a calorie slut. If I had my way, I would be surrounded in velvet or fur on cold days.

Something else I think about while traveling a lengthy distance is what my time schedule is going to be. Will I need pain medication before I get to my destination? Is it within reach or am I going to have to dig for it? Do I need to take food, drink milk or a full glass of water with the medication? Did I bring extra just in case I stay longer than anticipated? So many questions, the solution? Just take all my meds with me. Let’s face it, its just easier that way. I wasn’t a boy scout, but I do believe in being prepared and I have been caught without my medication before. By being prepared, I also cut down on the worries and stress. I know I will be taken care. Whether I am traveling by plane, train, automobile, bus or ship, I need to consider the length of my traveling time and being comfortable so that I can enjoy the traveling as much as the destination. It’s the little things in life that make us happy. Right now, warm and painless shoulders would make me so happy. So the next time you get on the road again, remember to think about the trip. You can be prepared and comfortable. Oh….and don’t forget to buckle up!

Comment from Anonymous

In response to your comment posted on Breakthrough Pain; I feel your pain as do many other sufferers of Fibromyalgia. The pain experienced is hard for some to understand because you do look "normal".  I haven’t been on for a few days because I was having extreme pain from the weather changing and some work related stress, which just didn’t help matters.

As you mentioned, depression often accompanies FMS and is even a side effect of some medications taken for FMS. It does at times seem like a no win situation, but I have vowed, it won’t get me down. I may have to change my goals for retirement and vacation spots. No more summersaults, trampoline jumping or gymnastics in the near future. But like you, I would settle for getting some work done around the house, to not hurt as I lift my arms to fold the clothes or hang them up. I feel like a slug as I trudge along trying to get things done. Things get dusty or pile up and I know you like a clean house as I do. I too, like to have things organized. I keep opening one particular kitchen cupboard and every time I do, I cringe as I want to shut it because I know I will have to get on my hands and knees to find what I am looking for. So while I am down there, why don’t I just organize it? Because like you, it seems to always be a fibro day lately. Oh, how I wish I had a Merry Maid to clean and organize my house. Okay, so maybe I should set a goal for myself.

Twice a year I usually do a “spring cleaning”. I failed to complete the second cleaning before fall came along as I too busy with our summer of tornados and a recent straight line wind that just tore apart my newly restored shed. So here’s my fall and winter goal: take one day a week to clean one room in my house. As most people I have more than 7 rooms, but if I spread this out over a two week period, I can do this. I am not talking get down and dirty, but clean the surface dirt, dust a little and pick up. Of course I will do the bathroom and dishes most everyday, but that goes without saying. Good thing I own a dishwasher, oh wait….I just received a recall letter on mine. Scrap that idea. So I will enlist some help doing the dishes during the colder months. I will try to take one day a month to do some deep cleaning, maybe organize something. It may end up being just one cupboard, but often it will lead to several cupboards. My house should stay clean enough for the winter, but I will be ready and waiting for the spring clean, that’s for sure. I know I seem awfully optimistic right now, but I have to try. No one will do it if I don’t. I may not get the help around the house that I would like to get, but I can ask for it. Ultimately it is up to me.

I have found I must remind some people that I cannot do certain things, to not take the rail road tracks so hard, or to please let me sleep in on the weekend if I can. It is up to me to remind others how I feel. You can do this without sounding whiney. Do what you can, at times going a little beyond, but if you go past your limits, take the time to get your strength back.

What others do not realize, is how experiencing pain drains your body. It takes your energy, it steals your time. Because it steals your time, you have to make time for yourself. It may seem selfish to some, but you need to do this. You need to rest to let your muscles and your mind regain their strength. How we will get others to understand this, I don’t know. Maybe we can educate them in a kind way. Maybe blogs like this can help educate others. I don’t claim to know everything. I can only share what I have learned from personal experience or information I have seen relating to Fibromyalgia. I do know that positive thinking can free you from some of the trappings of FMS. If it is hard to keep a positive mental image, try keeping a positive object. What I mean to say is, try keeping a single object in each room, like a photograph, a keepsake, a book, and candle, anything that will make you smile when you see it. I do this. No, I don’t have a house full of tchotchkes and trinkets gathering dust. Which is a good thing as that would mean even more dusting for me! Take delight in the little things; take delight in family and friends. Positive thinking has proven to help physical ailments.

I make sure I smile each night as I fall asleep. Kind of a silly thing really, but I do it. I might be grumpy when I wake up, but at least I try to go to bed smiling. I might be a bad mood, tired or hurting, but even when I force myself to smile, I find it makes me happy. Maybe not right away, but there is something about a smile that can change your mood. Ever have a bad day and you meet a kind happy person and they make you smile? Be that person. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Let the tired you see the happy you. Make yourself smile. It might take some work, but we can at least try. So I leave you with these thoughts: we will get through this, people will understand someday, we will like ourselves and we will accept the changes that affect our lives. Oh, and smile….it makes people wonder what you’re up to!